Progeny

by zathras

I knew this day might come. In one respect I can view it with some bitter mirth than even a Monstruwacan, who many view with awe because of our knowledge and wisdom, might yet be tharted by a child. Though "child" is a misnomer here. I can hardly call my daughter a child anymore as she approaches the age when she will make her trek through the various cities of the Redoubt. But child she will be to me even when age has turned us both wizened and grey. I am quite proud of my daughter. Quick of wit, intelligent, and inquisitive, her love of knowledge has made her the favorite of the Order. Many members would take time from their tasks to answer a question of hers, for it would not be just a mere question, it would be one that had been formed to probe some obscure matter and the answer required equal care in it's crafting. Many of the Order enjoyed the challenge of answering these questions. Perhaps because of this deference she enjoyed we are all to share blame for this present state of affairs. For my daughter has one other noteable trait, she is willful to a fault. If she sets her mind to something she will not relent until she accomplishes it or reason can be prevailed upon her. And, given her skill of crafting inquiries, any debate to arrive at reason can be a daunting affair as she would challenge any flaw. Thus the stage had been set.

On that day she returned home as she always does, entering and placing her Diskos on it's stand. Yes, she has taken up the training in that weapon. Though no ban on women exists for such, for should the Redoubt need defended all would be called to the task, many in our city choose not to. And like all things she approaches it with a will and many a boy has found himself wanting in trying to show up a "mere girl" with his skill. But this day there was something in the manner that she moved in performing that simple task that told me something was the amiss.

"Ji'rel, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, mother"

"Ji'rel....."

The set of her jaw spoke volumes. Something had happened and she didn't want to talk about it even though she must. I had little doubt but that it would be something I did not wish to hear either.

"I have a message from the Tutelage. The Master would seek an audience with you to discuss an incident that happened today."

"Do I get to hear what this 'incident' was before then?!"

"I....I fought with a boy today when he laughed at something I said."

"You did what?!!!!......Ji'rel, what could mere laughter do to cause you to fight with someone?! Just what did you say that prompted this?"

Her voice dropped to a whisper when she answered. "I.............said that I intended to explore the Night Lands."

I was speechless. It was the strongest ban in the Redoubt, no woman, under any circumstance, was to leave the Redoubt and go into the Night Lands. And yet here stood my daughter proclaiming the unthinkable. Even worse, by admitting to this I knew she'd set her mind to finding a way. Knowing my willful daughter, she would indeed find a way too, unless reason could be prevailed upon her. That was unlikely due to the magintude of her proclamation and the reaction she knew it would engender. She would be prepared to meet every arguement with one of her own. I felt my face grow pale and I made all haste to arrange the requested audience.

Returning from the audience I must admit that it went better than expected in one respect. The Master was more interested in the breach of conduct and the fight than what had caused it. Youth is a volatile time and minor things can boil over into such type of incidents all the time. Once he was assured that a repeat was unlikely the matter was settled for him, for it is the parents' task to teach the concept of self-control, not the educators. My being Monstruwacan carried considerable weight on that matter on top of my daughter's normally exceptional behavior. But if the Master was satisfied, I was not. I knew my daughter, only she would stop herself from this folly and it was my responsibilty to bring her to that state of reason. But I was at a complete lose at that moment, I could not think of an argument that would prevail upon her. If I could not summon the needed reason, then who could? There was perhaps one only, if he would listen. On that chance hung my hopes as I requested an audience with the Master Monstruwacan.

To those who do not know him the Master Monstruwacan is an unassuming man. Quiet of voice, meticulous, and studious he can catch the unaware off guard with both his knowledge, his strength of will, and a mind that was as agile as an acrobat. He listened to the whole of the tale from me and my daughter without saying a word. Afterwards he sat in thought for a moment before finally speaking.

"Well, Ji'rel, you pose us quite the problem with this intent of yours. Why again is it that you wish to do this thing?"

"Because I want to, Master, that is reason enough to pursue anything. And because no one I have ever spoken to can offer adaquate reason as to why I cannot, beyound it isn't allowed."

"Do you think the whole of the knowledge of the Order of Monstruwacans has been imparted to you in your queries, child?"

"No, Master. But, if there is knowledge that bears on why I should or should not attempt something, I am yet to hear it. Thus I will continue until adaquate reason to the contrary can be given."

"A sensible stance, Ji'rel, and by doing so you do indeed set quite the problem before us. Whether or not we meet this requirement of telling you why you cannot go into the Night Lands, you yet cannot go. If you are not content with this and attempt to pursue such folly we must stop you, for your own sake and our own. You have thus set yourself against the entire Redoubt in this and the chances of success are accordingly small. Yet throughout history change, growth, and knowledge can be traced to one singlular individual who refused to relent, no matter the odds against them. Yes, quite the problem. I can see but one possible solution, though it breaks many traditions in doing so. It is only by my word such might be attempted, so it is indeed good that you sought me out. Ji'rel, you will be Prepared for sojourn into the Night Lands. Now go, I would speak to your mother alone."

If my daughter's face showed joy at this decree then mine must surely showed shock and horror. I could not believe that the head of the Order had just allowed my daughter the chance to do the unthinkable! At this seeming betrayal shock turned to anger, for I would protect my child if I could...and will! But the Master Monstruwacan just sat quietly, holding up a staying hand to quiet my protests. "Patience," was all he said,"we must now wait to see what happens."

Patience. Such a simple word and concept. To calmly await something. I was anything but calm. By tradition anyone that planned to leave the Redoubt must be taught fully of the dangers that exist beyound it's protection. That teaching takes 3 days and has a dual purpose. One is to prepare the person for the trials ahead as they would go forth into danger. The other was to disuade those that didn't realize the magnitude of their decision. Many, after taking this Instruction, chose to change their minds and remain within the Redoubt. For me it was a very long 3 days. I would see my daughter's face at the end of each of these days, grim but still determined. I did not think that she would be so easily discouraged, for it was obvious that the primary question she had was yet laying unanswered. At the end of the 3 days the Master Monstruwacan called both of us before him again. This was not the norm, but then neither was this situation. Once seated, he began without preamble.

"Ji'rel, what is your decision now that you have been Instructed?"

"The Night Lands are more perilous than I could ever dream of. Yet I see no intristic danger there that is worse for me than for a man. I will still go."

"As I expected. You have much of your mother in you. Should you chose to join the Order, as she has, it would be of great benefit to us all. I would support this decision, but a Monstruwacan is also denied to venture forth. Again you would have to set aside this intent."

"You give me high praise and honor, Master, but I would yet set out. At least there is a reason for a Monstruwacan to not venture out, in the need to protect and preserve the knowledge they carry. If the offer remains on my return, I would gladly accept it."

"Again, as I expected. There is one final lesson we must impart. It is not part of the normal Instruction for it is rarely needed. It is for such times as now."

With that another member of the Order was ushered in. I knew the woman though she and I had never talked. She was one of the Sensitives who had more full use of her brain elements that could detect and use the aether. Why she was here I could not guess, though the Master answered that when he began again.

"Ji'rel, throughout you have held to the position that no one has offered adaquate reason that you, or any woman, cannot leave the Redoubt. Likely you think this just a stogey chauvenistic tradition from the past that no one wishes to challenge because of being a tradition. On that you are incorrect. There IS an intristic threat in the Night Land that is greater for a woman than a man. It is a greater threat to us all than the lose of a Monstruwacan would be. But it is knowledge that can only be imparted on an intimate level by a Sensitive, and by it's very nature it's better imparted by a woman to a woman. Thus I will leave you in Mirce's care for this Instruction."

With that the Sensitive Mirce began:

"We all know that the greatest threat in the Night Lands are the pnuemavores, for they bring utter Destruction. Few know however there is a greater threat than Destruction. That is because there is a basic difference in the pnuema between men and women. Men can be risked to the Night Lands because they are like the leaves on trees in our parks. They are separate and individual. A tree can lose a leaf and not be affected. Women are more akin to the branches and trunk, as there is a continuity and creative force to us, the loss of which can be telling, or even fatal, for both a tree and for humankind. This knowledge was learned at great cost. That creative force is benign, able to be used for whatever purpose it's set to. That purpose can be far reaching as it's continuance ripples out from the source. Ji'rel, I can impart this knowledge in such a way that you will experience as if it was happening to you first hand. It will not be pleasant, so I ask your permission to continue."

I broke in at this time "Mirce, I would ask permission to be included in this Instruction."

"Why is that?"

"She is my daughter and I would know what she is experiencing, so that I might help her if I can. Also I, in my time, harbored the dream of setting out to explore too. As such I am curious as to the why myself, both as a Monstruwacan and as an individual."

Mirce gave a knowing smile. "We suspected as much, that is why you are here now. As you wish, though you will not thank me later, I fear. The both of you should try to relax as much as possible as it will make things the easier for all of us."

It is hard to explain what it was like. We all take it in stride the sensing of the Master Word, thus we know each other as true human. But the Sensitives are more attuned to the aether than the rest of us. To have one place images in your mind gives a glimpse into a world unknown until that moment. It was not unlike being deaf and hearing a faint whisper, or the blind seeing a glimmer, for the first time. Even that hint caused a sense of awe. But then the Instruction began....

The caravan we were traveling in had been attacked by ab-humans. The attack had been swift and brutal, leaving only a few of us alive and captive. We were marched away at an unrelenting pace until we reached their settlement. There they separated us from the men. Whatever became of them we never found out. They placed us in a large building where there were maybe 2 dozen other women, most of them were in various stages of pregnancy. That we might have been brought to some kind of brothel or breeding pen was not what offended most. It was the look in the eyes of most of the women. It was feral and wild as if something had stripped away their human nature and left an animal in their place. I could feel the steady beat of the Master Word from them but it had a discordant feel to it that burrowed in and wore away at your will. I was beginning to think the lucky ones lay dead at our pillaged caravan. I didn't know how right I was.

The day they came for us still gives me nightmares. They were tall robed figures that moved silently across the stone floor, one for each of us that wasn't pregnant. Those that had been there awhile cringed but didn't attempt to struggle or flee, as if they knew it was useless. One by one the robed figues pulled a woman to her feet and then seemed to flow around and merge with her. All of this took place in silence until our turn came. The first of us fought back trying to break the figure's grip, but to no avail. When the creature merged with her there was no more silence as she let out a long wailing cry. Then one came for me and I let out my own scream at being Violated. This was not a mere physical rape for all the senses were being assaulted and the mind and soul as well. The last was by far the worst. A physical assault can be endured if needs be, but something was forced into my thoughts and lay bare all my memories, guilts, and gifts as if my soul had been stripped naked and a turgent member had been driven into it. I don't know how long it lasted. I don't know how long I screamed. But I must have passed out because when I came to myself again the robed figures were gone. I had never felt so befouled in all my life for it went all the way into my soul. I doubted I would ever feel clean again.

And that was the routine. There was the ever present distorted beat of the Master Word that daily wore at me until either I went mad or started to succumb to it. For some part of me would respond to it, as if the Violation of the soul had planted a seed that began to germinate. But it was a foul seed, causing the mind to fester and rot, then the Thing Within consumed the rot like a maggot feasting on putrid flesh. Periodicaly the Robed Ones would return and join with those not pregnant. On that I was lucky, for I felt the stirrings of a new life after that first time. Our time passed slowly as our bodies swelled with distorted life and our minds decayed from whatever grew within it too. And always there was the Master Word sending our anguish into the aether until all who heard it could do nothing but add their own.

It was easy to guage how far the Soul Rot had progressed in any of us as the worst became more and more feral, with faces distorted until you might think them ab-human from birth. During that time several women gave birth. The babes were warped monstrosities, barely recognizable as being part human. Their mothers, not much more than slavering creatures themselves now, cooed at and suckled them as if nothing were amiss. The next time the Robed Ones came the new mothers were also joined with, and for their part they threw themselves at the Robed Ones like animals in heat. I wondered how much longer I would remain me before I too succumbed and became an animal.

Then came a day that brought hope beyound all hope. We could hear what sounded like a battle outside our prison, raging for an undetermined time. Then the doors burst in and armed men charged in. HUMAN men!!! The looks of shock and revulsion showed plain on their faces. If we needed a reminder of how far we had slid down, that was it. Once the fighting was over we were brought back and cared for, though the ordeal, as we found out, was only beginning. Our children, when born, were killed. This gave my heart a wound. For, even though my child was ab-human, it was yet a child and innocent of the deeds that had created it. In my case it caused the Soul Rot to progress faster. The Healers had no experience with the Rot and so were hard pressed to provide relief. Those that cared for us began to show signs of the Rot as well. Discord and strife began to run through our people. It was suspected that the distorted Master Word we howled into the aether allowed it to be transmitted to others. So for the sake of our home's preservation we were made outcast until a cure might be found. The village we built became known as the Place of Howling Madness. Eventually a cure was found and some of us were able to be restored, those of us that had not lost all of ourselves by that time. Little did we know that the Soul Rot was not so easily dispelled. That it could lay dormant for years and be transmitted during that dormancy. In my waning years we had another outbreak that weakened our people enough that we were driven from our homes by the ab-humans and scattered.

So once again I am outcast and homeless. I will not seek out any more of my own kind. I do not wish to risk carrying the Soul Rot to others if I yet have it. Also I do not wish to endure any more dirision for what I am that I had no control over. I am as innocent in that as my long dead ab-human child. I will spend what time remains to me where there were others who understand. I will return to the Place of Howling Madness and live alone..............

...The images of the Instruction faded from my mind. I looked over to Ji'rel and saw she was pale and shaking. I tried to rise to comfort her and found I could not, so I must be in a similar state. I looked to Mirce, the Sensitive, and her face was drawn and haggard, it had taken it's toll on her as well. I give her considerable respect that she holds such knowledge within and not driven her mad by it. None of us spoke for there was no need after what we has experienced together. But the Master Monstruwacan was not finished yet.

"Now you know why we cannot allow a woman to leave the Redoubt. The risk it would cause for us all, if she were Violated, is simply too great. Ji'rel, were you to leave the Redoubt, by whatever means you could manage, you would never return. For we would not allow you to return. The Soul Rot isn't the only assault we have had to endure, but every one of them was brought upon us because a woman had been Violated. Her...your...unique pnuma leaves us all vulnerable. However it is also why the Redoubt yet endures, for we have learned to use that uniqueness to engender a long lasting society beyound any that existed in the past. We need you so that such a continuance is maintained. We do not wish to have to cast you out. Do not answer now what you will do. Go to your home, rest, and give the matter some thought. We will be here when you have decided."

We returned home in silence. Ji'rel was deep in thought and I didn't intrude on that. This was her decision to make and hers alone. Later she came in where I was at and I could tell she had made up her mind on the matter. I waited.

"I still would like to explore the Night Lands. But I would also like to return and see my family afterwards. I do not like that I would not be allowed to return if I did go, but I also see the reason of it. But I still would explore, should I have the chance. As such there is only one course open to me, I must find some means of protection from Violation. If that can be accomplished then it will need to be tested on a subject willing to take the risk. I would take that risk since it would also increase the protection for the entire Redoubt, if successful. If the Order will grant me access to what they have learned of Violation I would set myself to this task and it's solution."

I breathed a sigh of relief, my daughter had seen reason. But she was yet intent on going, if something could be done to protect her. If there was any who might accomplish such a task it would be my willful daughter. Should such a time come it would be too important of a task for her to venture out alone. There would be a need for a Monstruwacan to go along.........